When my bestie told me last month that she was coming over all the way from Tanzania to stay, I hadn’t imagined this could be possible. Gini was, and still is, extremely clingy with even a minor bathroom-break separation throwing her off balance and resulting in a major meltdown. So when I sat down to make plans for the 2 days that my friend was going to spend with us, I mostly looked at things we could do at home, food we could eat at home etc.
But two nights before she was to arrive, after an especially long day, I decided on a whim to do the one thing that I had never done in the 22 months since Gini was born: I decided to take some time off at night and spend some time doing what I like without any care in the world.
To say that the prospect was exhilarating is putting it utterly mildly. However, while I was exploring possibilities, the niggling, negative side of my mind kept throwing doubts up in the air: what if Gini has a meltdown? What if the husband can’t manage? What if she hurts herself somehow? What if I have to rush back minutes after going away? What if I can’t leave at all? It’s never going to work, you can’t go.
Having decided to brave it and go ahead with the plan anyway has done all of us a world of good. It has put my mind to rest and finally helped me accept that someone other than me can take care of her too, even if it is only for a little while. It has helped me loosen up a little bit and not be as tightly wrung in nervous tension with things that involve Gini and exclude me. It has helped me trust my husband infinitesimally more but more importantly, it has helped him trust himself when it comes to taking care of his child all by himself. I suspect that helicopter mothers like me make our other halves feel inadequate when it comes to caring for the little ones, no matter how unintentional that might be. And lastly, it has helped Gini trust her father and know that he isn’t just around to do some roughhousing or swimming or driving around. It has made her believe that her daddy is just as much capable of bathing her, brushing her teeth, dressing her, taking her to bed for stories and cuddles as is mummy.
I left with trepidation. I even called from the cab barely minutes after we had left just to make sure everything was okay. He put my mind to rest and urged me to keep my phone away and just enjoy my time being me, being a friend over a mummy or a wife, for a change. And I did just that!
We reached a beautiful cafe, ordered funny, colourful drinks, had a scrumptious meal, and took tons of pics. More than that, we kicked back and relaxed. We didn’t eat in any hurry. We spoke about our Uni days in Swansea, about our time in London, about the adventures in the French Consulate, the museums, the walks, our vacation in Zanzibar last year. We made plans for the future, both professional and personal. We spoke about our passions, about our loves and about our dreams. That night, we were a couple of happy, giggling girls, enjoying a meal, taking a walk down memory lane, dreaming up a rosy future, and enjoying the first drizzle of summer.
Thank you, Kavs, for making this happen. Thank you, hubs, for making sure this absolutely does happen.
Thank you, Gini, for making it happen perfectly.
I love you guys.