The controversial parenting tag that’s quite popular on YouTube is essentially 13 questions on controversial or taboo subjects related to parenting. Subjects that are not discussed or if they are, then only in hushed tones with people you trust with your life.
When I first saw one such video pop up on my YouTube feed, I was intrigued to find out what these questions might be since they were generating a lot of debate. After watching the video, I realised they were regular, everyday questions that are bound to elicit different reactions from different parents due to inherent differences in our personalities. I don’t think there are any right or wrong answers to most of the questions. We, as a society, have become extremely judgemental which is why these questions have become controversial in the first place. I personally feel it is time we trust the judgement of a parent on how they want to raise their children unless we have some serious reason to question that.
So, let’s jump in, shall we? Remember, you have the right to disagree with me just as I might disagree with you.
#1 Pro-Life or Pro-Choice
In other words, pro or anti abortion. My answer is this: I am pro-choice. I am absolutely against selective, gender-based abortion, something that our country, among a few others, is infamous for. But to rule it out totally is, according to me, a gross injustice. There are many reasons why a woman might choose to abort. Most such reasons are entirely personal. Some of them could be down to health reasons, both mental and physical.
#2 Baby Wearing
I didn’t baby-wear Gini too much and that was due to 2 reasons only: a) my bad back and b) her consistent disapproval of anything confining, including swaddling. I wish I could have. I love seeing other mums and dads wearing their little bubs. It looks just so cosy and comfortable for the little ones. I love to see the traditional way of wearing your babies too. Research shows what a whole world of good it can do for the babies. Unfortunately, my Gini didn’t enjoy it a lot and so, we didn’t force her to get on board.
I am not entirely sure on this one. Is there any benefit? I have read conflicting views online. Admittedly, I haven’t done thorough research as I don’t have a baby boy. Let’s just say, if I happen to have a boy in the future, I will do my homework, get expert opinion from relevant authorities and make a call depending on what the situation demands.
This one is a no-brainer. I am a hundred percent pro-adoption. Though I don’t know any adoptive parents personally, Jules Furness of thegirlbehindthecamera.co.uk is doing a fabulous job at it. Her family consisting of her husband Steve, their boy Josh and of course, her, is all sorts of wonderful and when I watch her videos on YouTube, I totally forget this detail. She is just another mum having good days and bad. I think adoption is a beautiful and very special way of adding to your family and I see no reason for being against it.
#5 Baby Piercings
Here comes one of the big ones. Before I became a parent, I wasn’t even aware this was an issue. But parenting and hypothetical parenting are two completely different monsters, hey? Personally, I choose not to pierce my baby’s ears. I leave it to her and what she wants when she is a little older. Most likely, she is going to want her ears pierced. If not for anything then just because her friends have theirs pierced and I am totally okay with that but I would like to wait till that happens. If you happen to pierce your baby’s ears, I have nothing against you either. It’s a personal choice. Case dismissed.
#6 Breast vs Bottle
Ah, the age-old battle. I remember the early days when everyone, starting from the neonatal nurses to the health visitor to abject strangers, started chanting ‘breast is best’ whenever they saw me. It’s a good thing that I had always wanted to breastfeed my baby (we persevered till 18months) and didn’t encounter any major obstacles. I would have been quite rattled by this constant pressure, had I not been a breastfeeding mother. I often wondered, how healthy this one-sided theory was. I mean, breast is great, no questioning that. Everyone knows that. But shouldn’t a mother be allowed to decide whether she wants to opt for the bottle or not? Formula isn’t poison. Babies thrive on it and how! Is someone less of a mother if she can’t breastfeed or doesn’t want to? I know some terrific mothers who didn’t. I like the new slogan, ‘Fed is best’ far more than its predecessor.
To be continued…